Magical Magnolia
by helynn
Summary: Pretty much the crappiest, shortest story you will ever read (but with impeccable grammar!) Gratsu! (other random pairings in later chapters) Don't judge on the first chapter and if you positively review I'll love you forever! (Judge as much as you want once you get to the later chapters!) NO FLAMES, I'm new to this. Updating Saturday
1. Chapter 1

**Random super-short story alert!**

Natsu Dragneel was thinking about Gray Fullbuster again. Gray was a fantastic man with muscular abs and handsome legs.

Natsu walked over to the window and reflected on his chilly surroundings. He had always loved magical Magnolia with its wintery, waterfall. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel puzzled.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_. It was the a muscular figure of Gray Fullbuster.

Natsu gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a forgetful, oblivious, cider drinker with lovely abs and a charming smile. His friends saw him as a caring, helpful, but kind of dumb and overly aggressive guy. Once, he had even helped an blind old man cross the road.

But not even a forgetful person who had once helped an blind man cross the road, was prepared for what Gray had in store today.

The cold teased like loving cats, making Natsu anxious. Natsu toom hold of the scarf he always wore; he massaged it with his fingers.

As Natsu stepped outside and Gray came closer, he could see the glint in his eye.

Gray gazed with the affection of 804 arrogant difficult dogs. He said, in a hushed tone, "I love you and I want a kiss."

Natsu looked taken back, anxious but dazed and breath taken, and still fingering the beautiful scarf. But after a couple seconds, "Gray, I love you too," was whispered from his lips.

They looked at each other with ecstatic feelings, like two handsome, happy horses running at a very wild Halloween party, which had pop music playing in the background and two oblivious uncles singing to the beat.

Gray looked confident, but his face had a bright red blush and he was quite nervous, but the happiest he had been in a while.

Then Gray came inside for a nice pint of cider.

THE END

 **HAHAHA that was hilarious to write! If you've gotten this far, congrats, you've braved an awful story! PS, I'm actually working on a real story (as in-not this crap) but until then REVIEW! This story is only 341 words LOL :DDDDDD**


	2. Chapter 2

**Hey Guys! Remember me from the last chappie? Well if you don't (you have an awful memory), check it out (unless you don't want to, I understand). WELL...Heres another! This one is completely different from the last one, except it's still GRATSU! I've decided this is going to be a running gag, since their super easy and fun to write. This ones longer (why aren't you happy?)**

 **Disclaimer: I don't own fairy tail, BUT I own the plot (no one would try to steal it anyway though :((((((()**

Evil Vampire

A Screenplay

 **EXT. MAGNOLIA - AFTERNOON**

Icy MR. GREY FULLBUSTER is arguing with NATSU DRAGNEEL. GREY tries to hug NATSU but he shakes him off.

GREY  
Please Natsu, don't leave me.

NATSU  
I'm sorry Grey, but I'm looking for somebody a bit more brave. Somebody who faces his fears head on, instead of running away.

GREY  
I am such a person!

NATSU frowns.

NATSU  
I'm sorry, Grey. I just don't feel excited by this relationship anymore.

NATSU leaves.

GREY sits down, looking defeated.

Moments later, oblivious bar owner MR. LOKE ECLIPSE barges in looking flustered.

GREY  
Goodness, Loke! Is everything okay?

LOKE  
I'm afraid not.

GREY  
What is it? Don't keep me in suspense...

LOKE  
It's ... a vampire ... I saw an evil vampire tickle a bunch of children!

GREY  
 _Defenseless_ children?

LOKE  
Yes, defenseless children!

GREY  
Bloomin' heck, Loke! We've got to do something.

LOKE  
I agree, but I wouldn't know where to start.

GREY  
You can start by telling me where this happened.

LOKE  
I was...

LOKE fans himself and begins to wheeze.

GREY  
Focus Loke, focus! Where did it happen?

LOKE  
Hargeon! That's right - Hargeon!

GREY springs up and begins to run.

 **EXT. A ROAD - CONTINUOUS**

GREY rushes along the street, followed by LOKE. They take a short cut through some back gardens, jumping fences along the way.

 **EXT. HARGEON - SHORTLY AFTER**

LUCY HEARTFELIA an evil vampire terrorises two children.

GREY, closely followed by LOKE, rushes towards LUCY, but suddenly stops in his tracks.

LOKE  
What is is? What's the matter?

GREY  
That's not just any old vampire, that's Lucy Heartfelia!

LOKE  
Who's Lucy Heartfelia?

GREY  
Who's Lucy Heartfelia? _Who's Lucy Heartfelia?_ Only the most evil vampire in the universe!

LOKE  
Blinkin' knickers, Grey! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most evil vampire in the universe!

GREY  
You can say that again.

LOKE  
Blinkin' knickers, Grey! We're going to need some help if we're going to stop the most evil vampire in the universe!

GREY  
I'm going to need magic powers, lots of magic powers.

Lucy turns and sees Grey and Loke. She grins an evil grin.

LUCY  
Grey Fullbuster, we meet again.

LOKE  
You've met?

GREY  
Yes. It was a long, long time ago...

 **EXT. A PARK - BACK IN TIME**

A young GREY is sitting in a park listening to some pop music, when suddenly a dark shadow casts over him.

He looks up and sees LUCY. He takes off his headphones.

LUCY  
Would you like some ice lolly?

GREY's eyes light up, but then he studies LUCY more closely, and looks uneasy.

GREY  
I don't know, you look kind of evil.

LUCY  
Me? No. I'm not evil. I'm the least evil vampire in the world.

GREY  
Wait, you're a vampire?

GREY runs away, screaming.

 **EXT. HARGEON - PRESENT DAY**

LUCY  
You were a coward then, and you are a coward now.

LOKE  
(To GREY) You ran away?

GREY  
(To LOKE) I was a young child. What was I supposed to do?

GREY turns to LUCY.

GREY  
I may have run away from you then, but I won't run away this time!

GREY runs away.

He turns back and shouts.

GREY  
I mean, I _am_ running away, but I'll be back - _with magic powers_.

LUCY  
I'm not scared of you.

GREY  
You should be.

 **EXT. CROCUS - LATER THAT DAY**

GREY and LOKE walk around searching for something.

GREY  
I feel sure I left my magic powers somewhere around here.

LOKE  
Are you sure? It does seem like an odd place to keep deadly magic powers.

GREY  
You know nothing Loke Eclipse.

LOKE  
We've been searching for ages. I really don't think they're here.

Suddenly, LUCY appears, holding a pair of magic powers.

LUCY  
Looking for something?

LOKE  
Crikey, Grey, she's got your magic powers.

GREY  
Tell me something I don't already know!

LOKE  
The earth's circumference at the equator is about 40,075 km.

GREY  
I know that already!

LOKE  
I love you Grey, I always have.

LUCY  
(appalled) Dude!

While LUCY is looking at LOKE with confusion, GREY lunges forward and grabs his deadly magic powers. He wields them, triumphantly.

GREY  
Prepare to die, you evil potato!

LUCY  
No please! All I did was tickle a bunch of children!

NATSU enters, unseen by any of the others.

GREY  
I cannot tolerate that kind of behaviour! Those children were defenceless! Well now they have a defender - and that's me! Grey Fullbuster defender of innocent children.

LUCY  
Don't hurt me! Please!

GREY  
Give me one good reason why I shouldn't use these magic powers on you right away!

LUCY  
Because Grey, I am your mother.

GREY looks stunned for a few moments, but then collects himself.

GREY  
No you're not!

LUCY  
Ah well, it had to be worth a try.

LUCY tries to grab the magic powers but GREY dodges out of the way.

GREY  
Who's the mummy now? Huh? _Huh?_

Unexpectedly, LUCY slumps to the ground.

LOKE  
Did she just faint?

GREY  
I think so. Well that's disappointing. I was rather hoping for a more dramatic conclusion, involving my deadly magic powers.

GREY crouches over LUCY's body.

LOKE  
Be careful, Grey. It could be a trick.

GREY  
No, it's not a trick. It appears that... It would seem... Lucy Heartfelia is dead!

GREY  
What?

GREY  
Yes, it appears that I scared her to death.

LOKE claps his hands.

LOKE  
So your magic powers did save the day, after all.

NATSU steps forward.

NATSU  
Is it true? Did you kill the evil vampire?

GREY  
Natsu how long have you been...?

NATSU puts his arm around GREY.

NATSU  
Long enough.

GREY  
Then you saw it for yourself. I killed Lucy Heartfelia.

NATSU  
Then the children are safe?

GREY  
It does seem that way!

A crowd of vulnerable children enter, looking relived.

NATSU  
You are their hero.

The children bow to GREY.

GREY  
There is no need to bow to me. I seek no worship. The knowledge that Lucy Heartfelia will never tickle children ever again, is enough for me.

NATSU  
You are humble as well as brave!

One of the children passes GREY a delicious ice lolly

NATSU  
I think they want you to have it, as a symbol of their gratitude.

GREY  
I couldn't possibly.

Pause.

GREY  
Well, if you insist.

GREY takes the ice lolly.

GREY  
Thank you.

The children bow their heads once more, and leave.

GREY turns to NATSU.

GREY  
Does this mean you want me back?

NATSU  
Oh, Grey, of course I want you back!

GREY smiles for a few seconds, but then looks defiant.

GREY  
Well you can't have me.

NATSU  
 _WHAT?_

GREY  
You had no faith in me. You had to see my scare a vampire to death before you would believe in me. I don't want a lover like that.

NATSU  
But...

GREY  
Please leave. I want to spend time with the one person who stayed with me through thick and thin - my best friend, maybe soon to be more, Loke.

LOKE grins.

NATSU  
But...

LOKE  
You heard the gentleman. Now be off with you. Skidaddle! Shoo!

NATSU  
Grey?

GREY  
I'm sorry Natsu, but I think you _should_ skidaddle.

NATSU leaves.

LOKE turns to GREY.

LOKE  
Did you mean that? You know ... that I'm your best friend?

GREY  
Of course you are!

The two walk off arm in arm.

Suddenly LOKE stops.

LOKE  
Because when I said I love you, you know I was just trying to distract the vampire don't you?

GREY

What? I broke up with a hot guy for THIS?

THE END

 **THERE WILL BE MORE MUAHAHAHAHAHAHA (not only Gratsu though)**


	3. Chapter 3

**Aren't you just SO HAPPY I'm back (A DAY EARLY TOO)? If not, too bad, I am here anyway! Thank you to my lovely reviewers, this one's for you. This story is my life's work, it's so deep you will have to read it like 25 times just to understand how deep the first line is (not as deep as my soul tho muahahaha) Here is a new pairing, (GRATSU FOREVER THOUGH) it is normally known in this fandom as...JERZA (or Erzal I don't judge-jokes I am judging you SO HARD right now, seriously stop calling it that) I'm doing jerza at the request of an anonymous reviewer! Feel free to give ideas just like they did!**

 **Disclaimer:**

 **Jellal: As I'm returningstorm's favourite character above ALL muahaha I SHALL DO THE DISCLAIMER, she no own me, or my love, or ANYONE EVER.**

 **Me:...thanks?**

Dear Erza Scarlet,

I cherish The Tower of Heaven, where we first met. The moment I clapped eyes on you, I knew you were going to be a crazy girl who I would torture and kill her friend with my bare hands. Recently, I have began to regard you as much more than a crazy girl who I would torture and kill her friend with my bare hands.

My feelings for you intensified when I saw you sleeping in the moonlight. I was further wowed by your tremendous spelling (casting spells) skills.

You have feet like pointy carrots and the reddest hair I've ever seen. When I look at you, I just want to murder those pointy carrot feet and torture that red hair.

You're so special with your yummy ways. The way you handle your Simon (sorry 'bout that btw) shows great patience and sympathy.

I know that to you I'm just a sweaty slave driver but I think we could be happy together, loving like two wild bunnies.

Please, say you'll be mine Erza Scarlet!

All my love  
Jellal Fernandes

PS This letter only means anything if your dowry has increased to FIVE sheep and THREE cows!

PPS I am hot lalalalala I'm the hottest on the show

PPPS I throw my shirt up in the air sometimes saying

AAAAAOOOOO I'm so hot though

 **Jellal is hot**

 **Thanks for reading! I must go eat cod now**

 **Review! If you already have I love you!**


	4. Chapter 4

**SOOOOOO I made more randomness WARNING this is actually the same story as chapter one (cuz y'all liked it soooooo much) with a different end and middle (so the same begining...) GRATSU FOREVER, erm... Thanks for the reviews!**

 **Disclaimer:**

 **Natsu: OOC version of me returningstorm made thinks she no own fairy tail.**

 **Me: AS USUAL, Natsu is correct**

Natsu Dragneel looked at the beautiful scarf in his hands and felt puzzled.

He walked over to the window and reflected on his chilly surroundings. He had always loved magical Magnolia with its witty, wandering waterfall. It was a place that encouraged his tendency to feel puzzled.

Then he saw something in the distance, or rather some _one_. It was the figure of Gray Fullbuster. Gray was a man with muscular abs and handsome legs.

Natsu gulped. He glanced at his own reflection. He was a forgetful, intelligent, cider drinker with lovely abs and charming legs. His friends saw him as-oh wait, he has no friends. Once, he had even helped an ice-dancing old man cross the road.

But not even a forgetful person who had once helped an ice-dancing old man cross the road, was prepared for what Gray had in store today.

The cold teased like death, making Natsu anxious.

As Natsu stepped outside and Gray came closer, he could see the bewildered glint in his eye.

"I am here because I want a kiss," Gray bellowed, in an arrogant tone. He slammed his fist against Natsu's chest, with the force of 2720 dogs. "I frigging love you, Natsu Dragneel."

Natsu looked back, even more anxious and still fingering the beautiful scarf. "Gray, I love you too," he replied.

They looked at each other with ecstatic feelings, *I took out this line it was (cough) too ummm.*

Suddenly, Gray lunged forward and tried to punch Natsu in the face. Quickly, Natsu grabbed the beautiful scarf and brought it aroung Gray's neck.

Gray's muscular abs trembled and his handsome legs wobbled. He looked confident, his body raw like a filthy fire.

Then he let out an agonising groan and collapsed onto the ground. Moments later Gray Fullbuster was dead.

Natsu Dragneel went back inside and made himself a nice pint of cider.

THE END

 **Did ya like it *eyebrow raise* :3333333**

 **AND 167 LIKES AND COUNTING!**

 **...sadly I will be unable to update next week as I am goin' on a vacay (vacation if you couldn't tell) sorry if you care-not if you don't.**


	5. Chapter 5

**WELL…..here I am, happy?**

 **Disclaimer: I own very little, actually come to think of it-I own NOTHING!**

 _Modern AU-Grade 7-Story Writing_

 _Natsu Did not know what to write, all of the other stories he had "written" for school were from the internet, but with his teacher, Aquarius, now constantly watching him, he knew he had to write about something. "Write about something that has happened to you" his friend Erza suggested, "Write about me!" Lucy put it. Finally Gray said, "I don't know why you guys are even trying, it's going to be idiotic whatever it is if flamehead over here writes it" Natsu, with his friends' thoughts in mind, sated putting pen to paper. By the end of class he had written a story that was_ two _of the three. (A/N I stole Natsu's work from the school muahaha just so you could read it)_

I saw a sign in the window the pet store it read Lucys for sale. The store was selling them for five cents apiece. I thought that was odd since they were normally a couple thousand each. I bought 200. I like Lucys.

I took my 200 Lucys home, I let one drive, he wasn't very smart. In fact none of them are very bright, they kept punching themselves in the face, laughed. Then one punched me in the face. I stopped laughing.

I herded them to my room, they didn't adapt very well to their new home they screeched and jabbered. They hurled themselves off the couch at high-speeds then slammed into the wall face first. Although humorous at first, it became boring after an hour.

Two hours later I found out what all the Lucys were on sale: they had all died, no apparent reason, they all look just sort of dropped dead. Kind of like when you buy a goldfish and it dies five hours later. Darn cheap Lucys.

I didn't know what to do there were 200 dead Lucys lying all over my room on the bed, in the dresser, hanging from my bookcase it looked like I had 200 throw rugs. I had to get rid of them before my parents got home.

I tried to flush one down the toilet it didn't work it got stuck, now I have one dead, wet Lucy and 199 dead, dry Lucys.

I tried pretending that they were just stuffed animals that worked for a while, that is until they begin to decompose. It started to smell real bad I had to use the bathroom but there was a dead Lucy in the toilet and I didn't want to call the plumber I was too embarrassed.

I tried to slow down the decomposition by freezing them, unfortunately there was only enough room in the freezer for two Lucys at a time so I had to change them every 30 seconds. This wasn't very efficient, I also had to eat all the food in the freezer so it did not go bad.

I tried burning them little did I know my bed was flammable I had to extinguish the fire now I have one dead, wet Lucy in my toilet two dead, frozen Lucys in my freezer and 197 dead, charred Lucys on my bed, the smell was getting worse.

I became irritated by my inability to dispose of my Lucys. I was also irritated because I could use the bathroom. I punched one of my dad Lucys in the face. I felt better.

I tried throwing them away but the garbageman said that he wasn't allowed to dispose of charred Lucys. I told him that I had wet one but he said he couldn't take that either, I didn't bother asking about the frozen ones.

I finally arrived at a solution I gave them out as Christmas gifts my friends didn't know quite what to say they pretended like Lucys but I could tell they were lying so I punched him in the face.

I like Lucy

 _He got an "F" as the story was supposed to be about what made him a good friend._

 _THE END_

 **Well that came from the heart and took me YEARS to write, like literally, that's my lifes work, literally. NALU FOREVER, and hope to see y'all next week!**

 **AND (yay more!) last but not least, a big thanks to all of my lovely reviewers, but especially** **Zane Takeshi** **, who has reviews not once, but TWICE, thank you!**


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